1. Schizophrenia... As an infant

There are a few things that I'm going to mention wrt my infancy, as I'm very much aware that what I experienced added to my early onset schizoid personality disorder, and later schizophrenia.

I was born 2 months premature to a mother who is schizophrenic, but has been unaware all her life. 

She talked to herself, she suffers amnesia, she repeats herself, she changes mood based on who she's around, she has no friends, she's not romantic in any way, she's odd / eccentric / unfashionable / plain and ordinary / no hobbies or favorite things. She's jekkyl and Hyde, short tempered, angry, argumentative. She's schizophrenic, but she's too stubborn to accept this information.

I'm certain that my premature birth has a lot to do with my schizophrenia. It must have been extremely traumatic. My mother never breastfed me as - in her words - I was too stubborn and refused a bottle. I know that premature babies are underdeveloped in their suckle reflex, among other things, which would be the real reason I didn't drink from a bottle. Mother's are meant to be taught how to assist and aid their newborns with this. Instead my mother fed me cows milk from a teaspoon. 

This meant that I wasn't coddled, nurtured, held lovingly. I must have also been under nourished. 

Not only did this affect my growth and brain development - I believe it affected my gut health, too. I was prone to intestinal worms. I know this because I used to get extremely itchy down there. There were times when I would inspect my bowel movement, and I would notice worms. I played outside daily, in sand and with cats and dogs. I also remember cases of ringworm. 

Its VITAL for mothers to breastfeed their babies. While I understand there may be complications with this, there's absolutely nothing more important for an infant. As a new mother, your baby absolutely deserves to receive the healthiest nutrients possible, and God designed us to be able to do so. Perhaps now we will start paying attention to the importance and relevance of following His instructions. 

If schizophrenia stems from self rejection, then it's pretty obvious that my parents wishing I was a boy had a lot to do with my early onset of rejection. Coupled with leaving the womb 2 months early which affects brain development, a lack of nutrition and having a cold, callous, unloving mother... This was my beginning years. 

Note: When you are born again, God invites you into His family. You are adopted into His body of Christ. You are wanted, accepted, and loved.