How I was saved from psychosis

 By the time I cried out to Jesus, I was neck deep in sin. I was living in survival mode, suffering addictions, suffering mental illness, I was in a marriage to a narcissist and I was being controlled by spirits, tormented by demons.

I had lived a life of sex "addiction" , believing that I was only valued for my body. I had done things that I'm not proud of. I had seen things that no person should ever see. I was in hell on earth.

I was desperate for the pain to end. I was desperate to end my life. I simply could think of no other way out of my deep darkness and torment. I had no idea that I was being tormented by actual demons. I had no idea that these demons had been feeding me lies all my life, starting from before birth. I had no idea that they were the cause of my mental illness, as all my life I assumed it was all just me, and my own craziness.

It was an absolute miracle that God chose to make His way into my heart that night. I felt a warmth in my heart and the pure Love of our Father within me. 

After it happened, For the longest time I have been trying to make sense of it. I have been wondering if I made it up. I have been looking for clarity. When I saw this message from a sister in Christ, Angie Maris, it was her, explaining EXACTLY what I had experienced. She said everything word for word, and it clarified everything. 

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Angie Maris, Bond Servant of Christ - "Was it you I saw in a vision?"

A personal message to someone... 

I saw someone sobbing in a vision. This is what I heard. The understanding was given by the spirit. This is Abba Father, Papa, speaking to someone.

The person was feeling as if they were not good enough. It's too late. Nothing will change. Why don't I just give up. It's too hard. Feeling as if everything was hopeless. 

Understand, I'm seeing a person sobbing and I'm hearing by the spirit why they're sobbing. This is what they're feeling.

Then the Holy Spirit said "Not the truth"

The person was putting themself down, listening to negative thoughts about themselves to make them feel even worse than what they're already feeling. I heard they were demonic thoughts.

Oh, this part I don't like sharing, but God has a purpose in everything.

I saw horrible looking dark shapes and knew them to be demons. They were speaking into her ear. The worst part is she was listening to them. She was listening what was being spoken by demons. The demonic, spinning a web of lies that had the person ensnared.

When you love people, seeing something like that wasn't nice at all, but what happened next was even worse.

They curled up into a ball, totally caught up now in a false reality, believing the thoughts and giving into how they were feeling. 

I saw Holy Angels standing nearby but they couldn't help her. Him / her - at this time I didn't know who it was because she was believing willingly the lies... she had turned to the demonic, to the thoughts she was hearing. The demonic-induced feelings. So they (angels) were standing there watching her. 

[Do you know how the Holy Angels that have been charged to uphold us, to encamp around us and deliver us from all evil, really care about us. They do. Father as well. They care about us and they have personalities and feelings too.] 

But suddenly - here's the good part I'm very happy to share - I saw the demons jump back away from the person. I wondered what happened. I looked. The vision was like a movie in front of me. So I'm looking. I'm leaning in, looking for why they jumped back in fright. That's when I saw a most amazing thing. 

I saw a light. She was curled up in a ball and I saw a light coming from her chest. I asked the Holy Spirit what had happened and he said as clear as day to me, 

"She turned to Papa" (that's my personal name for Papa, Abba Father). 

When she turned within her heart to our Lord, Father strengthened her by His Spirit, that was the light I saw. It was Holy Spirit. 

I was so happy I was crying. I don't know this woman and it could be you. 

Then the Lord brought me to another vision He had given me quite a while back - I saw a person living on the streets - they're in a dark alley, this person that's hunched over, destitute. Light came down and entered their heart. I was given the understanding that they had turned to the Lord in their heart, and the Spirit came. They weren't led in the sinners prayer - it wasn't a long elegant prayer, it was the heart. 

Father hears cries of the heart. 

The woman I saw sobbing - in her heart she turned to the Lord - and He strengthened her. 

Maybe her circumstances didn't change straight away but He strengthened her to overcome. To resist the demonic lies. 

Don't listen to the enemy. 

Don't receive it. 

Here's the full video : 

https://youtu.be/aDdkZFAGcvI?si=lp5G1qqeS9WcrSBt

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After this had happened, I was free of the demonic voices in my head. This gave me the chance to figure out my true thoughts. I had to take every thought captive, and question them. The Holy Spirit freed me from many false beliefs. I'd hear a thought and I'd say, Holy Spirit where did that come from. And He'd reveal a memory. Slowly over time I learned that I had listened to demonic entities in my mind that were causing me so much trouble. I had put myself in a dangerous relationship with a man who the Holy Spirit assured me has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Holy Spirit told me (spoke straight into my heart) that this man was causing my mental instability. And the Holy Spirit told me that my mother is schizophrenic, which is where I got it from, due to childhood sexual trauma and boundary violations. So, when the Lord reveals truths to you, I assure you it's not all sunshine. But my hope is that others who are experiencing psychosis can turn their heart towards the lord, and can find complete relief from the mental torment.